View My Golb

It seems only appropriate that what I am doing is "Golbing." yes, golbing, blogging spelled backwards.  It has been about 7-8 months since I was first diagnosed with breast cancer.  I embraced my diagnosis with the same fervor I embrace everything.  I purchased my mandatory pink mug,  searched the internet for "cancer sucks" tee shirts, I perused every cancer site, purchased every book, had myself my very own Oncology Social Worker, not to mention my peeps at the American Cancer Society. Oh there was "Breast Buddies,"Cancer.org,  the woman's cancer support group (I went once but it was to depressing), AND, I have my requisite pink bracelet.  Cancer even catapulted me to to the UCSD bookstore, where guided by my Mac guru I purchased a Mac. Why? If I am going to have Cancer, I 'm going to have it with panache!  I needed a virgin machine untouched by any experience readying itself exclusively for my daily cancer blog which I swore would be healing, cathartic, and keep friends and family updated on my progress.  Did I mention I've never used a Mac?

Once reality grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me silly, I realized I HAD CANCER, HOLY SHIT!  And I never wrote a word about it, until now, now which is the very day of my first follow up visit.  THE day I have been praying for, yes, I have been praying.  All I wanted to hear was "All clear, see you in three months!"  But that's not what I heard; what I heard was, "There is a small lump in your left breast the size of a ........... And that my friends is all I heard.  Yes she mentioned how many centimeters, but really, who cares.

"Don't worry it's probably nothing." Funny, I recall hearing those very words 7 to 8 months ago, and worry I did. Next Tuesday, June 23rd 2007 I meet with my radiation Oncologist and discuss where to go from here.

My gut tells me it's nothing, but you know what, even if it is "something" I know what's ahead of me, and one thing I know for sure is that I am an extremely fortunate person. Why, you wonder would I say that?  Because I know I will have the continued support of my friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, my writing group, and the amazing woman I meet with every Saturday morning.  

They don't call me "Lucky for nothing!